More and then a pause…

More and then a pause…

So, I was doing well. And then I wasn’t.

I have never been one for whom running is a stress reliever. I hear a lot about people who feel like runs are spiritually centering or meditative or the like, but that’s just never been me. I mean, when I run I can disengage and listen to my music, but I can’t seem to turn the brain off and just let things be.

So, when things happen in life I tend to pick up old habits like wine and comfort food. And I crash hard into them.

Last week I faced a major setback in my career. Not only was it a setback, but it was also a pride-kicking, demoralizing, awful week. Not going into the nitty-gritty. Just going to sum it all up by saying I am taking some time off and evaluating what I want to do moving forward. So yeah. Stressballs. Big ones.

Up until that point, I was getting more regular with the short runs and whittling the time down a little each time plus feeling better and better as I did it. I signed up for two races, a 5K in March and a half marathon in May. My diet was on track. Everything was falling into place.

But then the events occurred last week and I spiraled with the sadness, anger, and stress and went back into my old patterns. I have been eating crap, drinking wine, and not running for about a week. My body feels like ick and I need to dig back out. And I will. But I also will not beat myself up for this. At other times in my life I would have setbacks like this and then just never start again because I felt hopeless.

Not this time. I am still excited about getting back into my running. I am still thrilled with dropping weight and being healthier. But I am giving myself the space to feel the feels and get through this. This Sunday is the Super Bowl. I am giving myself through the big game to work through all this, be sad, angry, and low-key.

When Monday rolls around, I will be done. Big girl panties will officially be on and I will get back into it. I have a BeachBody detox on the way, I have runs planned, I will pack my lunches, I will avoid wine. I will be back. I am confident in this. I may be a bit derailed, but not defeated!

One

One

Last night, I ran one mile. This may not sound very impressive, but it was an important first step for me, and a first of what I hope to be many more. I could have run more, but I very purposely set out and ran just that one mile. I wanted a base line for where I am starting right now, just to see how I can improve with more training. I also just wanted to see if I still could run one continuous mile.

Great news—I can! I mean, I won’t be winning any races at my pace, but 12:12 for someone who hasn’t run at all in more than a year (and hasn’t done much road running for probably even longer than that) is respectable. There is certainly room for improvement, but I’m happy.

Even better is that it felt good. I took the time on Tuesday night to go to a wonderful local run store, Lucky Road, to be fit for a new pair of shoes. They really take the time there to listen to what you want, what you are working for, and they pay attention to your gait and what would work for your feet. I probably tried on eight or so shoes, and ran around in them, before settling on my new trainers. And it makes such a difference. My feet felt great, and I woke up with next to no soreness this a.m.

I should backtrack… Normally one mile shouldn’t be anything that hurts very badly, but since my last semi-serious bout of running, I had a recurrence of the plantar fasciitis that I have dealt with since I was still in my 20s. I also had an unfortunate MCL tear in my left knee last fall as well as the early signs of arthritis in both knees now. So. Feeling good after a run, even a one miler, is not always a given.

But I feel good. Beyond fitness and weight loss, I do have some goals in mind. First, I have worked the past four years as a co-race director of the Break a Leg 5K, a fundraising run for Stage Door, but I actually have never even run the course! Nope. Not this year! This year, I want to go out there and crush it. It’s on March 10, so plenty of time to get in some good training.

I also have my sights set on the Marine Corps Historic Half. I actually used to work for the MCM, and this race has been on my list since I left the organization. Lack of training, injury, and other plans always seemed to get in the way, but I need to finally cross this one off!

So, there you have it. One run, one mile, day one of what should be many more this year!